Memoirs of a Mama

30 Days of Thanks! Day 17-20

2011-11-20T23:06:00.000-08:00

Bad grateful person bad! Its been 4 days since my last gratefull....?

So instead of going each day I must say that this is 4 days worth of being grateful.

December. A time to eat, love, by grateful, rest, celebrate tradition, celebrate Christ.

30 Days of Thanks! Day 16

2011-11-16T21:33:00.001-08:00

Today I am thankful for husbands that go out and get my gluten free soup, and make me tea, and feed me medicine. yep.

30 Days of Thanks! Day 15

2011-11-15T21:18:00.001-08:00

Today I am grateful for Theraful. It's the only thing that has helped me feel better today. Now I don't have to wince or whimper every time I swallow.

30 Days of Thanks! Day 14

2011-11-14T21:27:00.000-08:00

Today I am thankful for pictures. They help us remember things in life that happen so quickly.

30 Days of Thanks! Day 13

2011-11-13T23:20:00.001-08:00

Today I am thankful for Starbucks :) It just got me through 8 straight hours of editing.

30 Days of Thanks! Day 12

2011-11-12T17:15:00.001-08:00

Today I am thankful for the 16 Photo Sessions that sit in my "TO EDIT" folder with more to come. I am thankful that we love what we do and that we continue to grow in our business!

30 Days of Thanks! Day 11!!!

2011-11-11T17:37:00.000-08:00

Today I am thankful for weekends. Knowing that Danny will home with us is everything I want.

30 Days of Thanks! Day 10

2011-11-10T19:31:00.001-08:00

Today I am thankful for Raleys. NOT KIDDING. Its nice to walk into a store where you can go straight to the Gluten Free isle. And gluten free doughnuts. YEP.

30 Days of Thanks! Day 9

2011-11-09T16:31:00.000-08:00

Today I am thankful for tomorrow. I was a great home-maker, and business woman today. Tomorrow I WILL be a better mother.

30 Days of Thanks! Day 8

2011-11-08T22:39:00.000-08:00

Today I am thankful for people that are brought into our lives, even if they can't stay long.

30 days of Thanks! Day 7!!!

2011-11-07T17:14:00.000-08:00

Today I am thankful for Danny. Danny my love, my life, everything. Little too corny? DON"T CARE! I love my man! And I am thankful everyday that God let us come into each others lives :)

30 Days Of Thanks! Day 6

2011-11-06T19:27:00.000-08:00

Our house. No matter how much this place can frustrate me, and I'm constantly looking at everything that needs to be fixed, updated, or finished, I still appreciate the fact that we have a place that is ours.

30 days of Thanks! Day 5!

2011-11-05T16:57:00.001-07:00

Snow. I grew up in a place where it snowed twice in a 12 year period and it hasn't snowed since. So every winter when the first snow flakes fall, its like Christmas morning.

30 Days of Thanks! Day 4

2011-11-04T08:54:00.000-07:00

Today I am thankful for Lucas ala Lemaire ( that's how he says his middle name ) he is one of the funniest kids I have ever met. You can always count on Luke to end an awkward moment!!! Love my little Lukie Boy!

30 Days of Thanks! Day 3

2011-11-03T10:00:00.001-07:00

Thankful for her. My life would be so incomplete without her. God has made this sweet, nurturing little girl, and I am blessed everyday that she helps me take care of "her boys" :)

30 Days of Thanks! Day 2

2011-11-02T16:03:00.000-07:00

For this child's heart. Seriously one of the sweetest, most gentle souls ever. I love him.

30 Days of Thanks!

2011-11-01T22:09:00.001-07:00

Thankful for AMAZING family photos that were taken a few days ago.

Dear Shelley

2011-10-29T19:58:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow you will have your pictures taken. One of your most FAVORITE photographers will be capturing your family. This is a gift. You feel crazy, stressed, tired, aggravated, ALL OF THE ABOVE! BUT tomorrow something special will be caught on camera. That love that you feel everyday single day for that amazing man, and those three precious babies will be documented and and will be forever present.

I will let go and let God be in charge. That is all, plain and simple.

Your children are going to look back at these images one day at how young you and Danny were. How beautiful and young you were, never appreciating it at the time.

Tomorrow is a gift.

26

2011-10-26T22:57:00.000-07:00

Stole this from Alyssa!

A. Age: 26

B. Bed size: King, and its still not big enough for the three extra children that seem to visit us every night.

C. Chore that you hate: DISHES. EVERYDAY. no dishwasher

D. Dogs: Lucy

E. Essential start to your day: Waking up to the babes.

F. Favorite color: grey, mustard, purple, and robins egg blue!

G. Gold or Silver: Silver

H. Height: 5’7″

I. Instruments you play: piano, I probably should revisit it.

J. Job title: Photographer, Mother, Teacher, Wife.

K. Kids: Three lovelies!

L. Live: Reno

M. Mother’s name: Bon Bon

N. Nicknames: Shell

O. Overnight hospital stays: just when I had kids!

P. Pet peeves: unloving parents.

Q. Quote from a movie: there were just CONES! ( the wedding singer ) not funny on here but funny when I said it tonight while driving.

R. Right or left handed: Righty.

S. Siblings: 2 brothers from the same mother.

T. (This was missing how about..) Thursday, its tomorrow.

U. Underwear: Yes I wear them.

V. Vegetable you hate: SQUASH. That mother stinks.

W. What makes you run late: umm my life basically, always doing too much all at once.

X. X-Rays you’ve had: teeth, chest, arm, brain.

Y. Yummy food that you make: soup, no joke.

Z. Zoo animal: Koala bears!

Hourglass

2011-10-25T21:07:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4-PDKNu71I

Try to get through this song with out tearing up. I have listened to it three times now, in a row, and start choking up by the middle. No one on this earth could love my children the way I do. No one. And while I listen to this song and feel all this deep love inside I feel the older they get, I have to loosen my grasp a little. And that's what I'm scared of. Of course I want them to be these amazing, confident, independent human beings one day, but as their mama, my heart breaks a little when I think of the future. If it were up to me I would keep them small, and safe in my arms. But this is not reality so I mourn now and prepare for the future. Their amazing future, and I will look at them and always remember the little baby's that they were grasping on to my little finger always feeling safe in my arms.

Grateful

2011-10-25T00:25:00.000-07:00

Grateful for my parents who traveled many hours just to go to Apple Hill with us!

Grateful for Danny and the most amazing love that we share.

Grateful for three amazing children that I get to love on everyday.

Grateful that I have something I love and get to do for a living.

Grateful that MOST days I can handle homeschooling.

Grateful for amazing parents, and inlaws.

Grateful for salted caramel mochas....( now I want one )

Grateful for nice cool walks on fall days.

Grateful for friendships I have made in the last year.

Grateful for healing.

Some days.

2011-10-06T20:38:00.000-07:00

Some days are super hard.

I wonder why I take on so much, am I crazy or just ambitious?

This week has been hard. Adjusting from a week at my moms where I didn't have to think about this and that is kicking my butt. Maybe the weather is putting a gloom over me too.

Its times like these though where I am grateful that I have a husband that lets me hide in my room for a few hours while I nap and rest my brain and body, and watch Felicity on Netflix.

Tomorrow is a new day, where it will hopefully be a little warmer and I will have a better attitude.

Where I have been.

2011-10-05T10:31:00.001-07:00

It has been almost a year since I have posted. What have I been up to?

Working my butt off at Lemaire Photo.

Literally working my butt of...38 lbs so far :)

Homeschooling, finished our 1st month!

Battling anxiety.

Making our house a home.

I'm back :)

2011-10-05T10:08:00.001-07:00

Halloween!

2010-11-01T11:01:00.000-07:00

Check out pictures of the kiddo's on our photography blog!

http://www.lemairephoto.com/blog/index.php?year=2010&month=November&post_get_id=50&page_type=recent

Moments.

2010-10-26T23:45:00.001-07:00

I love these moments.

Getting Ready for Apple Hill

2010-10-06T10:00:00.000-07:00

The big boy is 6

2010-09-30T19:49:00.000-07:00

6 years you have been in my life. 6! Do you know how special you are to me?

Your current obsession: Mario Brothers. I don't see it ending any time soon. ( And the scarf? Broken collar bone by trying to tackle daddy at the park )

You specifically asked for Fun fetti & Chocolate icing ( which mama made )

There's your best friend & cousin. You talk about Quinn like he's a super hero :)

It's official!

AHH LOVE OF MY LIFE!

Your favorite boys!

Your sissy enjoyed your cupcakes too!

All of Daddy's family showing you love! Bon Bon & Pa came a couple weeks before to celebrate!

Can you tell Lucas is excited to "share" your birthday toys?

Your the sweetest kid I know. The way you see things and feel about things makes my heart melt. I love watching you figure things out, because you always know how too. I love how much I see myself in you, but so much of your daddy too. Your the biggest helper I know, and you never complain when I ask. I love spending my life making you happy. Happy birthday to you sweet baby boy!

Note to myself: try to get your tears out BEFORE you go out for his birthday dinner. Silent sobs in a restaurant IS embarrassing and confusing to the children. Your waiter will give you weird looks and pulling your hat down when you cry doesn't fool anyone. Yes, next time cry first thing in the morning and enjoy the rest of the day :)

Some goodies I love in my house!

2010-09-30T10:00:00.000-07:00

My vintage tea set that my mom bought me antiquing for only $12!

Pumpkin Trees!

The curtains I mad for my kitchen :) Happy Thursday!

Milk painting!

2010-09-27T22:20:00.000-07:00

SUPER easy and fun craft with did for school. Take a shallow dish. I just used a plate that had a 1 1/2 depth. Fill it with milk. Place a few drops of food coloring in the milk, not too much and use different colors! Use a tooth pick, or be creative like me and use a dry spaghetti noodle. Have a little container with dish soap in it, where you will cover the top of the tooth pick ( or spaghetti noodle ) with soap. Now I am sad to say we didn't take photos from the beginning so it doesn't look as awesome as it should, but the first time you touch the paint the colors shoot out and start swirly. Then you can start touching the other colors and it looks like a kaleidoscope! We have done it twice in the last week and we love. The best part is you can just use left over breakfast milk so your not actually wasting anything!

She calls herself Poke.

2010-09-27T21:40:00.001-07:00

My daughter calls herself Poke. I'm serious, if you ask her what her name is she will say Poke. I have NO idea where it came from. She rocks my world, and I could not be more in love with her. She's extremely smart and vocal. She understands everything your talking about and telling her what to do. She's a nurturer, she loves to take care of us, and help, and love on everyone. She's a little mama :) She's EXTREMELY goofy. She has moves already, and love to sing. I just love to look at her and her scrunchy face. I love my Poke.

Blessing,blessings, and things to work on.

2010-09-19T21:05:00.000-07:00

A few things that have happened recently are, a newly painted house, kiddos and their first lemonade stand which was pretty successful heyhey $50! And my husband LOVES me :)

Life. Currently life consists of a tired mommy, 3 hours of home-schooling 3 kids, getting whatever time I can in to clean and "get stuff done ", then Danny comes home for lunch, and I get my 2 hours of work in, kids wake up and by then I basically crawl around looking for the energy that my kids stole from me, figure dinner out, Danny's home. HURRAY!

Besides life being insanely crazy and busy all the time, I feel so blessed to be able to do what I want to do with my family. I get to be in charge of their schooling and work from home. My husband works so hard and I truly appreciate EVERYTHING he does. I love him :)

Things will be winding down soon for work since the weather here kind of kills of picture taking. The weather becomes cool, the trees around us turn into amazing glorious colors, and I feel happy. There's no time like this time of year!

Today

2010-08-14T00:29:00.000-07:00

I liked today. Today held many favorites that all happened in one day. It all started when Danny got to get of at lunch today. That's the BIG one, then we did something that hasn't been done since we had kids. Took a nap together, you were thinking something nasty weren't you? IT WAS HEAVEN. Just the most simplest things make me happy. We went on a treasure hunt in the car since it was too hot at the moment to drive and the boys had to help us find the treasure which ended up being Happy Meals. Now Happy Meals are a huge deal to the kidlets because we rarely let them have it. After that we went thrifting which the boys actually liked, and found some goodies like retro art for Emery when shes a little bit older, a popcorn machine, and cereal dispenser, an axe 2 pairs of funny glasses, and each kid got to pick out a toy. It ended up costing $45 bucks yea! When we got home everyone got in their jammies and we all watched our "new" popcorn machine! We spent the next hour giggling and cuddling watching Wallace & Gromit. Got everyone in bed and I started baking. I made scones, banana bread, and strawberry bread. Now I am being a good wife and sitting next to my hubby watching some kung-fu movie.

It was a good day.

Feeling better

2010-06-22T13:00:00.000-07:00

Gradually everyday I feel better. I didn't drive for over a month and a half because I let my license expire ( didn't want to have anxiety waiting in that line ). It was long enough that the boys couldn't remember mama driving. Danny went with me and 2 hours of standing in a line later, I had a license. It was hard, because I was shaky and constantly aware of my exits. BUT I made it. Thats what I need to focus on. I think when I started driving and having to go out on my own with the kids and nothing horrible happened, I started to feel better. I'm also constantly aware of how I'm feeling and I don't ignore it anymore. If I feel I cant handle going grocery shopping with the kids, I wont. I know my husband will cover for me and he loves so much that he doesn't mind it.

I also did something that was EXTREMELY important to me, and the my loved ones. I took my first photos since the end of March! It was pretty amazing, because I got to photograph my friend Erin's birth, and then I ended up photographing her baby boy a week and a half later. I don't feel I am professionally ready to get back out there, but it was a MAJOR step in the right direction!

Everyday I feel better.

The Lemaires get handy part 1

2010-06-13T12:49:00.000-07:00

The Lemaires get handy part 1!

And the enemy strikes...

2010-05-24T13:45:00.000-07:00

It happened. I knew it was going to happen because it seems when you let your guard down and talk about whats going on in your life, Satan is ready to attack.

I sat there in the car waiting for him. The kids were playing, singing, being loud. I breathed in and out slowly. My eyes skimmed the streets to see where he was at. Was he coming? What was taking so long? My stomach started to turn, and then out of nowhere I felt like I was drowning. I started to sweat and my eyes filled with tears. I covered my face so no one could see what was happening, if they could even figure out what was happening. I started gasping for breaths and started to sob. I felt like I was shriveling into myself. The car became quiet, not a peep came out of my children's mouths. Moments later he knocks on the door and he sees me in distress. He takes me home where I feel safe.

I wasn't expecting to be healed when I told you all about my story. I figure I might have more days like the one above. But I will continue to fight against these attacks. And one day they wont have a hold over me anymore.

Once again

2010-05-22T12:56:00.001-07:00

Forgive me blog, for I once again have neglected you. I feel I am ready to come back to you to get things off my chest. I feel like I am hiding constantly with what's going on with me, because I don't want people to know that I have problems. Which sounds completely ridiculously because EVERYONE has problems.

I keep back tracking in my head when this all began. My mom, who battled panic attacks for a long time believes it is just a build up of all the stressful things that have happened over the years and I couldn't hold it in any longer. Getting married young, having two premies, moving MANY times, the stress of buying a house, and moving in the winter during Christmas, and photography.

I am my worst enemy, I believe I am never enough, nor will I ever be good enough to do anything right or be right for my kids and my husband. Now, no one has made me feel this way, it's something that I battle with myself. Long story short, I collapsed. I took on too much, tried to do to much, with the constant thought in my head that I'm not enough. I have had a few panic attacks before, once in high school, and a couple while I was pregnant with Emery. And at the end of March, it took over. It hurts so bad to go through them. It's so hard to explain because you cant physically see what's happening. I would all of a sudden feel so unbelievably trapped, suffocated, and the pain would shoot through my bones. I wanted to escape but I couldn't. I couldn't stop them from happening, I couldn't make it go away. This all happened while we were on our family vacation. We were visiting a farm in Bakersfield and at this time Danny was the only one who knew what was going on. As soon as we got out of the car I gripped onto him and started bawling. This is when my parents found out what was going on. It took all that was in me to even go outside the house. I fell into some of the deepest depression I have ever been in. Last week was the first week I didn't cry, and that was huge accomplishment.

Since our vacation things are somewhat better. I breathe on off during the day to relax myself, I try to put as little stress as possible on myself because that's when they come back. I haven't taken a picture since the end of March, because of the pressure I put on myself to do a good job, is just to much for me to handle right now.

I honestly only feel better when Danny is with me. I can't really leave the house by myself, I don't go grocery shopping or to Target by myself anymore. I can barely walk with the kids to Starbucks, which is only a few blocks away. But slowly I feel myself getting better.

Our CRAPyard I mean Backyard

2010-04-25T15:53:00.001-07:00

After a great night alone for the first time without all three kids we decided to torture ourselves with yard work! I now believe I will never buy a house with a jacked up yard ever again! I can deal with the inside fixes but a yard you must maintain and we are so over our heads with this! Here it is in all its disgusting glory....our backyard.

Danny pulling out the chain-linked fence.

The stone thing is actually our bathroom it was added on in the 50's

That mess took me a good 30 minutes to cut down. Don't you love the paint job underneath?

So in the 50's there was a house where the concrete is no but it burned down. we would like to take the fence out to make the yard bigger and eventually plant grass and clean up all the dead bushes.

This is a combo of our bathroom vanity, carpets from the kids room's and a few odds and ends. This is our second junk pile in the back yard. Danny's dad had to already make a trip to the dump from all the crap the previous owner left here.

The backyard scare's me! I never had to take care of one before and it's just one gigantic mess! I really wish we were rich enough to hire a landscaper to help us figure out this mess!

House update!

2010-04-20T23:08:00.000-07:00

So Emery's room is taking longer than we both imagined! We can't really complain because we got ourselves into this mess :) It's looking so much better and I can't wait to put a before and after side by side! The first few photos are after Danny sanded the floor!

YUM YUM
Starting to put the wainscoting up!

Closets should be done tomorrow, and then we will finish painting the trim around the walls and painting the wainscoting! Then finishing the floors!

House update!

2010-04-11T21:02:00.001-07:00

So how did you spend your weekend? We have spend 30 hours this weekend working on Emery's floor! Danny decided at the last minute that we should just get it over with since we were doing the boys room. BIG MISTAKE!

It all started out like this: HOARDER'S lookout!

Then we found this....Yes, some previous owner painted the hardwood floors WHITE. We still had no idea how hard this was going to be...

So after running out of 6 strong stand papers, Danny decided to go out and get wood stripper, we sat there and tried to come up with good stripper jokes as we painted the chemicals on the floor and scrapped like crazy. So crazy that our hands and wrist hurt, and Danny now has a few blister. THEN we had to go through the cracks of the wood because someone put caulking glue in-between the boards.....really? MORE SCRAPPING

Then we finally got to this! Should be done sanding tonight, and then we plan on putting wood putty down, sanding again, and then putting the finish on, then gloss! WHAM BAM THANK YOU MAM!

Little bathroom update, working on the curtains right now :)

House Progress the good & the bad

2010-03-02T08:50:00.000-08:00

New house pics up!

Well about 6 squares of tile were slightly off white, so we are making a trip to Home Depot to complain, and try to get a refund. GRRR

So after we fix that, we can put the baseboards down, the mirror, we got a vanity, and a bookshelf to hold our towels and such!

So I'm thinking in a week we will be done!

House Pictures

Tile update

2010-02-24T10:59:00.000-08:00

On sunday we got a whopping 19 inches of snow that no one in this town knew was coming.

Tahoe got an inch, what the heck! So here are a few photos from our Snow day.

Well we ( as in Danny ) put mud on the floor ( is that the right lingo? ) and then laid the tile down, now tonight we will be painting our vintage mirror and a few other things! Then on Thursday night he will be grouted the bathroom ( once again is that the right lingo? )

This has been a fun learning experience! I can't wait to do more and show you more!

Our first home repair!

2010-02-18T09:24:00.000-08:00

Bathroom Progress click on the link to look at the progress we have made on our bathroom. We may be laying tile this weekend!

life in the present

2010-02-13T20:43:00.000-08:00

Right now fun stuff is happening!

I feel very excited lately about home-schooling and my ability to learn and grow with them. I think thats the best part of being a mom. You spend "x" amount of years just living and I don't think you truly learn anything about yourself until you have kids. They teach me so many things everyday about who I want to be and who I am.

Danny's job is about to get BUUUUSY, which we are happy about because he truly enjoys what he does, and I get to have a happy husband home every-night, and we actually get to sit down and have dinner together.

We are finally doing some stuff to the house!!!!! This makes me EXTREMELY HAPPY. I feel that I love my house, but I hate the way it looks. Until now we haven't really got to do anything, but tonight we headed out to Home Depot ( oh how I love thee ) and started making a list of things we need to update our main bathroom, which is the most hideous thing in the house. I will be posting photos of the before and afters!!!

What we have been up to lately

2010-01-26T11:37:00.001-08:00

Life is somewhat slowing down...in slowing down I mean staying consistent. Danny is still working for his uncle for the solar water heating business. I am still doing photography www.lemairephoto.com, homeschooling Mr. Nate, and getting Lucas going with his letter sounds, yada yada. Emery Rose is rocking our world with her crazy personality.

We have been in the new house for about a month and a half and still haven't unpacked something...yikes. We moved at the worst time ever! But it is starting to feel like home. ( I think ) We have so many dreams and ideas for this house, but limited on cash and time. One day!

I will be posting new photos soon of the house and what we are doing to fix it up!

My daughter is purdy

2010-01-14T09:51:00.001-08:00

What I have been up to

2010-01-11T19:48:00.001-08:00

Around October I started taking photos like crazy! It's been demanding and I love it, and I just can't stop! We moved into our house on Dec 14, which was extremely crazy and stressful. The month before we got in was ridiculous. Pushing back dates, asking for more money, something broken on the house. I cried a few times. Was totally blessed by family. I have amazing family. Got through the holiday's in one peace, and getting over a cold that I have had since Christmas!

We have now been in the house for 4 weeks, still trying to adjust and doesn't quite feel like home yet. Keeping busy with home-schooling! Working and booking weddings, and feeling very excited about the road ahead with the photography business!

So while I have been complaining so much lately, I just want to thank God, for my blessing, for my eyes, my dwelling place, my kiddos, and my extremely handsome husband.

New years resolution!

2010-01-07T21:20:00.000-08:00

My New Years resolution of 2010 is to TAKE CARE OF MYSELF

Hard to do when you are a wife, a mother to three, and have a growing business. But I am getting organized and realizing how important this is! I have been sick A LOT in 2009 and its because I don't sleep well, I dont feed myself regularly and I just let the stress build. I have to stop! I can't handle it anymore!

So here's to 2010, treating me nicely!

I'm still here

2009-12-22T22:55:00.001-08:00

Alive.CRAZZZZY.and will commit to blogging soon...

We might get keys today

2009-12-11T13:15:00.000-08:00

tears . crazy . nervous . panic attack . really excited. BROKE.

leaving home

2009-11-19T17:19:00.000-08:00

I sit here drinking my coffee, watching Emery chase the boys around a piles of boxes in the living room ( holding a toy axe ) and I am sad to be leaving this place :(

We will be moving into our first "purchased" home in a couple of weeks, and I am sad because I love this town-home and all the memories we have made in it. We moved here two years ago Dec 1 and now will be moving out...I got pregnant with Em the first month we moved here and brought her home here. I have watched my boys become less baby and more big kid. We struggled here when Danny's job was terrible, and we comforted our selves here during long winters and hot summers. I feel safe here. It's the longest we have ever stayed in one place.

I pray the kids will be okay leaving. I, on the other hand will be holding back tears. Please pray that we will all adjust well, and praise God for this opportunity to own our own home and be saving a couple hundred dollars at the same time. WE NEVER thought that would happen. And please pray the current owner will leave the place clean ( its a short sale ) so that we wont have added stress on our backs.

The cold

2009-10-29T07:29:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we had to go grocery shopping while it was 36 degrees outside. We of course were inside the store when we were shopping but those few moments when you are racing to your car/store so fast that you could trip and horribly embarrass yourself FOREVER, you don't even care.

Your like one of those race car pulpit people ( can you tell I don't pay attention to that sport? ) Trying to get all the kids in their giant coats into their seats and buckled and then racing to the back to throw my 20 bags of groceries ( trying not to smash the precious bread ). Then the moment of glory comes when I, yes I, get to get into the warm car and defrost.

On a not so warmer note. We had our photos taken by Alexis Turner yesterday!

( www.Aturnerphoto.com) It was bright and sunny and I hope you will never know that it was only 45 degrees outside :) We had so much fun and haven't had a real family photo session since 2007 when Erin Holland took our photos! We will be taking Alexis' family photo's in the beginning of November! You can check our photography site out here

( www.LemairePhoto.com)

1st snow

2009-10-27T23:31:00.000-07:00

Today we had our first snow. We were leaving target when the white flakes started shooting down like falling stars. The boys giggled at each other as they saw the little white balls fall onto each other's head. They looked to the sky and opened their mouths, hoping to catch the frozen drops. Through out the day the snow would fall, dry, and fall again. Today we will have hot cocoa. It's tradition.

I love these sweet simple days...

Who is this girl?

2009-10-14T22:57:00.000-07:00

life

2009-10-12T13:48:00.000-07:00

I am so overwhelmed with emotions right now. I made the mistake of looking at my myspace pictures that I haven't looked at in FOREVER. I saw these little chubby baby face's that I don't even recognize anymore. It's not fair. I spend all this time on them and I don't even notice how much they have changed in the last year. I wish I could remember EVERYTHING. I hope they will always love and "like" me. I am nervous about the years to come when they're not just little kids anymore and I am not their world. Will they even know how much I love them and how I will do anything for them. I can't believe 5 years have gone by this fast.

I hope they know I put my heart and soul into them everyday.

I am having a hard time accepting Danny's vasectomy which was openly agreed that he would have it done. We felt at the time we were done, and that it was unsafe to have anymore. So why am I having baby fever right now. I honestly thought I wouldn't have it after having Emery.

Poor Nathan is having the same problems his mommy is having. He does not want Emery to grow up, he wants her to stay a baby forever. And even though I enjoy all the new things she is doing, I don't want her to grow up either.

Is this how every parents feels? Is there a point where you stop feeling this way? When you accept that this is how it is and you just enjoy. Or are there random times of heartbreak where you finally start remembering things you tucked into your brain so that it could torment you later. Memories you took for granted, and the many times you overreacted.

I don't know who am I suppose to be or what I am suppose to do when they are gone....

Family Vacation!

2009-09-29T12:07:00.001-07:00

Aww Family vacations...The never get here soon enough and they end with a blink of an eye.

Our family vacation 2009 started with a stop at our dear friends Scottie & Zoe, and lets not forget Miss Tegan!!! We spent the night and were able to catch up and enjoyed watching the kids interact with each other. I was able to take some photos of them the next day ( you can click here to view them ) That was actually a lot of fun, and I could have probably done all day but we had to rush off to Pa & Bon Bon's house or the boys were going to lose it.

Once we got settled in to the parents house ( we were there a full day ) we went to a family get together, which was definitely overdue. We had so much fun and it was nostalgic to see my cousins kids running around with my kids. We actually got to watch old videos of us all running around. And of course the big hit was Kaitlin stealing my easter eggs ( which I am pretty sure everyone agrees now that Aunt Lisa told her to do it ) I love this family and I am always blessed to have them in my life.

The next morning we headed off to Disneyland!!! My brother, Shawn, works there so we were able to get in FREE. Trust me, thats the only way we were able to go. Disneyland is EXPENSIVE. No matter how thrifty you try to be you always end up spending more. This is the second time our family has run wild at Disneyland. In March 2007 we went when Natie was only 2 1/2 and Luke was almost 1. Now we were there with a 5, 3 1/2, and 1 year old. This time was so much more fun though because Nathan and Luke could ride on more of the rides because of course they grew like weeds. Nathan was super stoked to ride on almost any roller coaster he was tall enough to ride. His personal favorite was thuder railroad, on the 4th time the ride broke down, he claimed they ran out of gas. His DETESTED this water ride in California Adventures ( roaring rapid type ) as soon as he got on we all new it was a mistake because some random stranger told him there were a ton of waterfalls. JERK! So yes he screamed hysterically the whole ride, he had a death grip on Daddy & Aunt Jess, and the poor kid got soaked more than ANYONE on the ride. Seriously the waves were like covering him and a geyser came out right when we were at the end and soaked the whole boat. Quinn & Nate had to take their shirts off and probably would have taken their pants off if it was acceptable. The only thing I could do to get him through the ride was bribe him with ice cream. Poor kid. And DUH totally forget to mention that my lovely in-laws joined us on our vacation. It was so much fun and nice because everyone took turn riding on rides, or watching kids. There was an adult per kid. Thats probably how everyone should do Disneyland.

Miss Emery was amazing of course and enjoyed the rides that she was allowed on, took her lack of naps amazingly, and just was perfect. Ahh I want to go back. Thanks brother for all your hook ups and taking look on the wocket wide!

Our hotel was really nice and they actually accidently gave us an extra night ( which we didn't pay for ) but my mom had to be to work the next day so we weren't able to take them up on it :(

We spent the next 5 days in Bakersfield. Got sick, Emery got sick, and were basically bums until Saturday when we had two sessions scheduled. We left early on Sunday, visited my grandma, and went the wrong/long way home through Yosemite. Now Yosemite is amazing but not driving through just to get home with a car full of whiny kids ( including me ) I would love to come back and visit though, and camp. At least we were able to get some shoots there! But seriously after coming out of Yosemite it took us another 3 hours to get home.

So good bye vacation! I wished you would have lasted longer. Who knows when we will take one of you again!

Home-schooling

2009-09-17T08:54:00.000-07:00

I am starting to LOVE it...

I love watching them learn. I love watching Nathan's eyes when he understands something. I love that he is teaching me. I love that I don't have to send my kids off and not see them for hours.

I love the freedom they have here to learn.

During our bible study this morning I taught Nathan about the Devil. Well, he has been battling temptation lately, when we tell him to not do something or you can't have the chocolate pudding yet ( and then there are finger scoops in it ). I taught about temptation and the Devil. He was in tears when we were talking about it because he was so frustrated that the Devil would do that. But we had a big talk about what we should do when he feels tempted and that God doesn't want him to do bad things and that he can pray that God will kick the Devil away.

Watermelon barf

2009-09-14T09:14:00.001-07:00

Danny and I were pretty proud of ourselves last night for going to bed at 11:30. This is hard for me because I am a freakish night owl that will ignore all signs of exhaustion just to have alone time and get stuff done. So after a wonderful massage ( I was having back problems ) I was totally out of it and letting myself go to sleepy land. Nathan had got up around the same time to go to the bathroom. Next thing I know ( which was an hour later ) I woke up to the lovely sounds of violent vomit being spewed all over my clean laundry and floor. Danny tended to the vomit pile ( which he had to use a soup spoon to scoop it off the floor ) and I tended to the little boy holding on to the toilet lid, finishing off the remains of puke. A late night laundry session, a cup of tea, an episode of Sponge Bob later I was heading back to sleepy land at 2:00 a.m.

Luckily Nathan is feeling totally fine now....

Help us win free Groceries!

2009-09-11T20:23:00.003-07:00

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If you sign up to win free groceries it also helps our chances of winning free groceries!

Boobies and Buttcheeks

2009-09-11T08:25:00.000-07:00

So yesterday evening while eating dinner the boys were goofing off. Nothing new, until I hear Luke call Nathan a "boobies". I immediately asked him what he said and he went silent. "Nating...." Luke said, as if opening his eyes any wider would prove his innocence. "He called me a boobies Mama" Nathan announced, couldn't be more proud that he was not in trouble. I gave Luke a few chances to fess up, but he didn't so I had to tell him what he did wrong and sent him to time out.

Time out came to an end and I sat him down to have a little chat about why he got in trouble. I was trying to explain to him that we don't joke about body parts, God gave us these parts for a purpose and we are not going to joke about them, or use them for name-calling. While this discussion is happening, he is starring at my chest the WHOLE time. I asked him why are you looking......"I dano." So I told him God gave these to mommy so that I could feed you, brother and sister, and there's nothing funny about them.

"AND GOD GAVE US BUTT CHEEKS!!!!" Nathan proclaimed!

I wonder if any of my lessons actually set into there heads?

Balloons and Anniversaries!

2009-09-10T08:38:00.001-07:00

Well, it's that lovely time again! HOT AIR BALOON RACES! I am so excited it is finally here! We just got back from watching them at the park. At first I had two kids squeaking in glee, and one squawking in fear. Eventually the fear turned to glee.....just took a while. We had to convince Luke that they were not going to land on top of him. I LOVE this time of year. When it starts getting cooler, and you know glorious fall will be turning all the leaves soon! I love all the holidays coming up and seeing my kids experience them.

Here was us a year ago!

http://alovelydisarray.blogspot.com/2008/09/hot-air-balloons-and-burning-thighs.html

I am kind of sad that I was too busy to notice that I wrote my first blog a year ago on the 3rd. Happy belated blogiversary to me!!!

hello

2009-09-09T17:52:00.001-07:00

I plan on writing again. A never ending dilemma of trying to create balance in my life. So once I have a freeing moment to clear my head and find what's inside of it. I will let you know

house hunting....

2009-08-26T21:11:00.001-07:00

never want to do it again....

New days

2009-08-21T10:37:00.000-07:00

OK so once upon a time there was a wife and although she meant well, said some pretty crappy things. For instance, she once told her husband that she thought she would like cleaning and cooking more if he made enough money for her to go shopping, so it felt like she was getting a "pay day". One day, many months after this wife made this astonishing comment she awoke from her stupidity. I can't believe I made that comment! I am such a bitch. From now on I will serve my family because that is what God has asked me to do. I will ask God everyday, Lord how should I serve my family today. I will not look at my loved ones as an inconvenience, because of my selfish ways. I will enjoy this season as a mother and be grateful everyday that I have a baby that pulls EVERYTHING out of ANYTHING, a preschooler that asks for food every 30.2 minutes, and a little boy that asks a bajillion questions a day. I will be grateful that my husband doesn't mind cooking dinner after coming home from work, after I have had a crazy day and haven't got to it yet.

I will just be plain grateful.

So Lord, how may I serve my family today?

Change of Plans

2009-08-20T08:51:00.000-07:00

Where did summer go? I feel like the sand in the hour glass is just about out. Summer goes by way to fast in a city that stays cold about 75% of the year. June was full of rain. Nevada has never seen that much rain....ever. So I feel we lost a month out of our summer because of that marvelous, sweet smelling rain. Even though I am sad summer is almost over, I am really looking forward to the season change. Fall is my favorite here. In Bakersfield, I have come to realize that the season change is nada compared to here.

I love when it starts getting cold, and we MUST wear sweaters. I love going to Apple Hill in October. I actually like cooking dinner because the oven helps heat up the house. I LOVE the Holidays. I love the first snow flakes. I love that we will ( hopefully ) be moving into our first home. I am so excited for the rest of this year and the memories we will make!

See ya later summer ( yes I am being a tad bit dramatic, since it wont be over for about another month ) HELLO Fall!!!!

The 6th is a charm

2009-08-18T12:50:00.001-07:00

I had the most LOVELY time with my husband on our 6th anniversary! I woke up to a bouquet of flowers and starbucks ( someone wrote Happy Anniversary on it, why thank you! ). I had no idea of his plans...we went to church and then my parents stayed with the kids and we headed to South Lake. We turned into the Heavenly resort. Gondola ride! It was amazing! I can't imagine the view being any better. It was so nice for it to be just the two of us. We were able to have lunch on top of the mountain. OH my gosh I really want to go back there right now....like now. I keep replaying it in my mind.

I am so thankful for that day. I love you Danny Lemaire. I can't believe it's been 6 years.

Here's an email 1 of 3 he sent me on our anniversary...

I have loved you in marrige for the last six years, and I will love you for six more! And six more after that, and six more after that, and six more after that, and six more after that, and six more after, and six more after that, and six more after that, and six more after that, and then it will be our 60th anniversary, and we won't quite be 80, but I'll bet we'll still be giddy little love birds. I love you!

WHAT A HUNK <3>

Fun weekend

2009-08-18T12:37:00.000-07:00

Well, its official, Emery is 1. There was a birthday date to prove it and a party to celebrate it. Now I must except it! How could a year past by in such an astonishing speed? It's hard for me to remember things that happened this past year, and I am thankful for the photos that help trigger my memory. I am thankful for this blog to remind me.

Here are some photos from the party. It was so sweet, and it was so pink. Thank you for everyone that came and celebrated with us!

You can't tell, but I had 4 dozens pink roses all over the living room....awww

Emery Rose 1 year later

2009-08-09T22:57:00.000-07:00

Emery Rose, today you are one.

I can't even begin to explain how fast this last year has gone by. I have enjoyed everything single minute you have been in my life. I asked God for a little girl, and that was it. I never asked for a baby that is rarely fussy, and is a total Mama's girl, and a lovey dovey, but that is how He made you, and just another reason I am grateful everyday for you. I am thinking about every detail by the hour before I had you. Daddy and I reminisced about it as we kissed you goodnight on the eve of your birthday. I am fearful sometimes that everything has gone by so fast that I wont be able to remember what you were like a month or two ago, but I realized that I enjoy you everyday and I love seeing you change and grow.

I love you Miss Emery Rose. I love that you lay your head on me just for comfort. I love that you say Mama a million times a day. I love when you scrunch your whole face just to smile. I love you completely and I promise to support you and love you and be there for you as you grow into a lady.

I love you my sweet one year old.

Magical

2009-08-07T12:41:00.000-07:00

Today we woke up to a magical morning...a morning of cozy things to come. Yesterday it was 64 degrees. I was able to get my house down to 68 WOOOO.

So this morning we all woke up in our warm PJ's and cuddled on the couch with the cool breeze drifting through our window. I whispered into the boys ears today we will get a pumpkin, a halloween custom, a turkey, and a christmas tree. They giggled because of course they knew I was joking. I giggled to think of all the memories the 5 of us will make this holiday season. Emery will be walking, we will be moving into our first home, and everything will feel so complete.

God is good, and it is a wonderful feeling to see Him everyday in our lives.

House Hunting

2009-08-06T09:56:00.001-07:00

So I have made a decision to not talk about the houses we view until AFTER we are approved for one! It's important for me to stay calm during this and I am just putting it into God's hands that He will place us where he wants us. Even if it's not the house of my choosing. His plan is always bigger and better, and I want His will. So please continue to pray for us while we take this giant leap!

Trust me....it's going to be SUPER hard not to talk about it, but in the end it will keep my nerves calm and my hopes where they should be...in Him.

life

2009-08-05T08:41:00.000-07:00

Things have been crazy busy this last month! We had three weddings ( 1 last minute ) and 5 sessions in between. It's good but I am definitely learning how to once again stretch myself ( picture Stretch Armstrong ) so that I can handle everything that goes on in a day. After today I should be done editing for a while and it will be a nice little break before our next wedding.

I am so excited to announce that we are "house hunting" and this begins tonight! Please pray that God will put us in the exact place we are suppose to be! Also, it will allow me to work on the Shabby Belle documenting our first home repairs! We are a little sad to leave this place but feel this is the best for us right now. Our friend Josh will be our realtor and we are thankful for that!

Emery Rose is going to be 1 next monday! I can't believe how fast this year has gone by, and I am thankful for this blog that I have memories on here that I wouldn't have remembered unless I had written them down. She has taken 1 step, and now can stand up on her own. She is starting to say more words, Mama, Dada, Buba, baby, hello, bye. She has attempted dog, and car....

The boys are good! They never let me slow down...thats why I am always so tired :)

We are going to Disneyland next month, which we can hardly wait. My brother works there so we will get to see him!

I know this is all random, but I needed to catch my brain up with today and all that is going on :)

Making peace

2009-07-23T14:15:00.000-07:00

The realization that I WILL NEVER HAVE KIDS AGAIN... is starting to hit hard. I always wanted one more, but for many reasons we prayed and felt that it was time to stop. Danny had a vasectomy in April, and it's official that nothing is swimming around in there anymore. So I felt I had made my peace with it all until I started seeing some baby items that Emery has outgrown. Which is no big deal, until I realize I will never needs these items again. The ducky bath that we have had since Natie first came home with us is no longer needed. I felt my heart sink. I don't want to ever forget these sweet memories, and I wish I could just never stop being a Mommy with babies. I wish I could pull a Duggar and have 18 kids. I just wasn't physically made for that phenomenon. I have been in denial for the last year that has completely flown by without me even being aware of it. My babies have once again aged so fast ,in what I have fell like is a day .I wish I could just hold on tight to every minute of the day with them. Begging the clock not to tick further.

I may have a melt down when we give our crib away that has been occupied by all 3 of our kids.

Mom's Group

2009-06-30T13:18:00.001-07:00

Once again I LOVE MY MOMS GROUP!!! I love how honest we all are with each other, without any judgement.

I love that for those 2 hours, I don't feel alone, and that they all are going through the same thing,

I love that I am motivated by these women every week to be a better mommy.

And the thing I love most of all, is that God is the center of all of it!

Love

2009-06-29T10:38:00.000-07:00

So I have found a new motivation. A motivation to be a better wife, a mother, and a homemaker (bleh).

My husband.

I will work hard, because he works hard. And why? Because he truly loves us.

I will not complain, because he doesn't complain. And why? Because he truly loves us.

I will not throw my burdens onto his shoulders, because he does not throw his on mine.

I will show my love by keeping my house a "sane" place. Not meaning that everything has to be perfect, but to know that I truly worked hard on everything that day for my family.

I will show him this love, because he shows me this love.

I will show him this respect, because he shows me this respect.

I will sacrifice, as he does everyday.

Do you know why my husband has this amazing attitude? Well, he grew up with a father that had the same, but he takes on the same mentality of God loving the church as husbands should love their wife's.

He deserves all my respect, love, and honor. And I shall give it to him.

Finally

2009-06-26T10:32:00.000-07:00

Dear Blog,

I have totally neglected you. I have to admit, I have been pretty darn busy lately. You know I have three kids, right? I also have been busy with my photography. Don't get your feelings hurt though, I have also neglected my Etsy shop.

It's not you...

It's me.

swirly curls

2009-06-25T01:29:00.000-07:00

10 months old

2009-06-11T11:54:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Emery's 10 month old birthday! I can't believe how fast time is

passing by us since she got here. I love this little chick so much and she makes me so happy. She started saying mama on monday ( hah said mama before dada ). She's such a momma's girl and I hope that our relationship will grow and be this beautiful wonderful thing! I love you Miss Emery Rose!

Thank you Gangy for the new clothes!

Busyness is up ahead!

2009-06-10T12:51:00.000-07:00

I am sooooo looking forward to my mom coming this weekend!!! I must say I was very spoiled last year when I was pregnant and my mom was up every month. Well she came up in April for the March of Dimes walk, but was only able to stay for two days. So I get my mommy for a week almost!

We have a birthday party to go to on Saturday for Mr. Amdyn who will be 2 and I will be taking pictures of him before the party, and then we have to go pick up my Mom at the train station, and then we will be celebrating Danny's 25th!!!

Sunday we are going hiking in Graeagle, Ca to finally get to show off that beautiful little town to my Mom!

I also have a few photo session that I am really looking forward to!

SO excited for things to come....

Chonies

2009-06-05T08:09:00.000-07:00

Have you ever woke up in the morning and realized your children have no clean underwear for the day. Yikes, it was emergency "Get You Chonies Cleaned" day. So, yes children, you will have fresh, clean chones in about an hour.

Good ole mom

Saying goodbye to another

2009-06-04T11:27:00.000-07:00

I said goodbye to my Grandma Dan at the beginning of this year, and I have just recently said goodbye to my Uncle Jim. My last visit with my uncle Jim was actually when I was going to my Grandpa's memorial.

My Uncle Jim passed away from a battle with cancer. Cancer. It's such an ugly thing. When he got word that there was nothing they could do and they weren't going to treat him anymore, it just took over so fast. One day he was able to get around and talk, the next he was in bed and unresponsive. It was shocking to many of us and I felt so guilty that I wasn't there to say my last goodbye. We thought he was going to pass that night, but a day or two later he was able to open his eyes and speak. It was mostly a mumble but his wife Diane was able to understand it. I called as soon as I heard he was speaking and asked Diane if I could speak to him. I didn't even know if I could speak, the giant lump in my throat might ruin everything. I let go and just started bawling saying I love you so, so much, I love you, and I could hear him talking back to me. Diane then got on the phone and said " I love you and you take care of those kids for me". Those were his last words to me. I lost it. I never had a real goodbye like that. We say goodbye everyday not knowing that those words are an ending. We always assume we will see that person again, will we? I cried so hard, for so long. Danny had to come home and help me out for a little bit so that I could calm down.

When he died a few days later I explained to the boys what had happened. Nathan spoke to my dad later that day and I head him say, "Uncle Jim died today. He's in heaven now. God will make him all better there." Then I imagined him there. He is better, he is healthy and happy. He's my uncle with the sweetest smile, and snugly hugs. He can rest now, no more fighting. Forever peace. That's exactly what I want for him.

At the memorial I watched his siblings (my dad, and his brother and sister ) say goodbye to their brother. It tore into my heart. I can't even imagine losing my brothers, I don't want to. His wife Diane sat there and said one month ago I married Jim, and now I am burying my husband. He was so blessed to have her in his life. I am so happy they found each other after my Aunt Wanda died. Thank you Diane for every minute you put into taking care of him.

Uncle Jim, you will be forever missed. We will reminiscence about you at Christmas's and camping trips. We will giggle about the fun times we had and choke back tears at the loneliness we feel without you. You are so special to us and we will never forget the love you shared with us.

Goodbye Uncle Jimbo.

back

2009-06-03T11:39:00.000-07:00

We are back, and I really need to catch up on the events of the last few days. When my head feels normal and I can focus I will be back....

Uncle Jim

2009-05-30T12:32:00.000-07:00

Yesterday by Switchfoot

The flowers cut and brought inside
Black cars in a single line
Your family in suits and ties
And you're free

The ache I feel inside
Is where the life has left your eyes
I'm alone for our last goodbye
But you're free

I remember you like yesterday
Yesterday
I still can't believe you're gone
Oh I remember you like yesterday
Yesterday
And until I'm with you, I carry on

Adrift on your ocean floor
I feel weightless numb and sore
A part of you and me is torn
You're free

I woke from a dream last night
I dreamt that you were by my side
Reminding me I still had life
In me

I remember you like yesterday
Yesterday
I still can't believe you're gone
Oh I remember you like yesterday
Yesterday
And until I'm with you, I carry on

I'll carry on, I'll carry on

Every lament is a love song
Yesterday, yesterday
I still can't believe you're gone

Every lament is a love song
Yesterday, yesterday
Oh so long my friend, so long

eww

2009-05-29T12:44:00.000-07:00

So we just got back from a walk around our townhome "neighborhood" and all of a sudden squirrels starting darting out of the bushes. We saw maybe 10 run in front of us, and could hear them rummaging all around the bushes. It made me ill.

Like I said...

2009-05-29T08:02:00.001-07:00

I made this blog for my lack of memory. And my lack of memory has finally caught up to the present where I don't even remember to blog it down. So this blog may be a tad bit boring but it will be some conversations I have had with my kids in the last few days...weeks...months?

Nathan

Mom, when I was 2, I didn't do anything wrong.

Oh really Nate...

Yup, and when I was 3, I didn't do anything wrong.

Now, that you are 4 do you do things wrong sometimes?

Ya. I love you because you always try to make me do the right thing.

( melted my heart )

Nate

( ok this is kind of gross )

I wont go into detail but Nathan basically was wondering if your butt crack is the thing that helps you poop...

Luke

Last night:

Luke: Dad! See the moon?!.... I think it's dying!
Dad : No, it's just cloudy. Why do you think it's dying?
Luke: Because..... Because..... because..... I think it's dying because..... because (about 2 minutes of this) .... I think because... Um... No, I'm just joking!

Little Mommy

2009-05-26T18:27:00.000-07:00

Two different personalities

2009-05-22T22:43:00.000-07:00

We stared out the window as the thunder roared, and the lightening sent a glow to our faces. "MOM!!!!" "DID you see that!" "That was holy-mungus!". Nate could not be more thrilled as the thunder would roar, and then 20 seconds later the lightening would send a surprise. His eyes grew with excitement every time a new set of Thunder/Lightening would unleash itself.

We stared out the window as the thunder roared, and the lightening sent a glow to our faces. I watch Luke as he grips tightly to the window panel. Fear starts brewing in tiny body. The lightening claps and he is immediately to my side clinging for dear life. "I don't like the funder mama". I pray over him, rebuking fear, and reassuring him that God will keep him safe, and there was no way Mama is going to let anything happen to him. He clings to me like a little monkey for an hour.

Bedtime resulted in Nate and I saying our goodnights and him peeping out the window after I close the door. Luke slept in my bed. I gave him my best pep talk and prayed and it resulted in him wrapping his tiny arms around my neck, reassuring himself that I couldn't leave if he held me tightly. My head is trapped on top of his chest, I feel special though, Luke doesn't give these moments freely. He is 100% Daddy's boy, and he even mentioned to me that only Daddy makes him feel safe. But for those 30 minutes I let myself enjoy this sweet moment. It took me 5 minutes to unlock his grip from my neck. The boy was out cold, snoring, but every time I started to move, his grasp would tighten.

I never ever prepared myself for the personalities my children would have. Actually I never prepared myself that they would have their own personality, which is totally ridiculous. How could I think they would be the same? Well, just wanted to let you know how my night went....:) snugly neck grips

It was a Baby Pedi Day

2009-05-22T08:08:00.000-07:00

Morning chaos

2009-05-19T14:34:00.000-07:00

Today started out pretty rough. I had a dream about what the world would look like if Danny had to go to war. My head was full of questions of "what ifs" and "what would happen". I am sure I drove Danny insane.

I had to take Danny to work, come back home get everyone ready for Mom's group. Nathan was very antagonistic to his little brother, Luke was whiny, and Emery was a teething 9 month old. Luke then spilled apple juice on a bunch of fabric and I snapped "WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH JUICE IN THE LIVING ROOM, YOU KNOW YOUR NOT SUPPOSE TO HAVE JUICE IN THE LIVING ROOM AHHHHH. I sat there on the couch numb, thinking why was I going through all the trouble just to go to moms group. I called Danny up ready to lose it at any second Some how he was able to calm me down and tell me that I shouldn't punish myself from my only "group" a week just because the kids aren't behaving. I started to see things clearly and let the boys know if they misbehaved they wouldn't be going to the park tonight.

So I get to moms group, and I am SOOOO glad I went. I needed it so bad. I always do. I have the comforting feeling of home when I am there. No one tries to act perfect or like they know it all. Everyone there is leaning on each other for support and help. The kids all run around and it can get a little chaotic, but we all laugh it off and don't sweat it. I am so happy I am in this group and I love my church family.

Hike...with three kids

2009-05-17T15:51:00.000-07:00

Hiking with three kids almost a mile up isn't as easy as it looks, Nate fell twice, Luke fell once, Emery pulled Daddys hair in the back pack. I did a half mile with her on my back, and my shoulders KILLED! But it was fun and sweaty, and I always love the time we spend together as a family.

You can view all the pictures here!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/lemairephoto/sets/72157618219639987/

This is what a healthy happy baby looks like

2009-05-14T10:09:00.001-07:00

Besides teething, she feels sooooo much better, the hives are basically gone, there is still some traces of it on her legs, but for the most part gone! Thank God we were able to fix this fast! I know I was excessive with the pictures, but when you have a grumpy kid for a week and she is now happy as a clam, you want to celebrate!

Chub Love

2009-05-14T09:26:00.000-07:00

We's gots it right heres!

wow

2009-05-13T10:18:00.001-07:00

One of these days I'll write a poem that is accurate in describing how much I really love you. I've gotten close in the past, but I've never been able to truly, fully express how much I love you. I don't know if there are words in the english language, or in any spoken language for that matter. I may have to learn some kind of "Hydro-Glyphics" or a language that is not spoken but transfered as a feeling from one person to another as a brain wave (I'll have to get Genie to help me with that one). I just get frustrated sometimes, I can always say "I love you", but the extent to which I love you is so incredibly great, that it presents itself to me as an amazing challenge that I have yet to conquer... But for today, I LOVE YOU!

My husband wrote this to me this morning

Peek A BOOOOOO

2009-05-12T18:49:00.000-07:00

Life

2009-05-12T13:42:00.000-07:00

5 years & 11 months ago I graduated from High School

5 years & 9 months ago I said "I do"

5 years & 4 months ago I became pregnant for the first time :)

5 years & 2 months ago I moved to Bakersfield, to have my Mommy once again help raise me as a mother.

4 years & 8 months ago I had my first baby boy ( Nathan Elijah )

3 years & 8 months ago we celebrated Natie's first year of life, and became pregnant with baby boy # 2 ( Lucas Alexander )

3 years & 1 month ago I had my second baby boy, and went through the hardest time in my life. For 12 days I was tortured with not getting to have my precious baby, that I carried for 35 weeks, with me. I may have became an adult at that exact moment.

2 years & 10 months ago we made the giant leap to Reno to start our new life. I am sure glad I didn't know how hard it was going to be these last couple of years or I may have just stayed in my nice little shelter of a life.

1 year & 5 months ago I became pregnant with my first & only little girl. ( Emery Rose )

9 months ago I had my little girl. Emery was also a preemie at 35 weeks, I prepared myself for this. I didn't prepare myself for something else going wrong. Emery was diagnosed with a Bradycardia & Apnea. She was on a heart monitor for 3 months and put on Caffeine. She grew out of it thank God, and I gained such a respect for parents who have to live with a on going illness in their child.

Present Day.

So many things have happened in between those life changing moments that have shaped who we are today. We chose a life together knowing it would be hard because we didn't have any money or basically anything. We had each other. This is how much you can do on love. When I say love, I mean love that respects and never gives up. Love that never stops growing. Love that battles. We have gone through so many different struggles for the last ( almost ) six years of marriage and we are so happy in this place right now. We have been blessed with more time with each other, amazing children, amazing family, and God continues to love us & show us grace. God has blessed us with a crazy amount of love for each other, that's all we really need.

Talented little girl

2009-05-11T21:49:00.000-07:00

4:45 AM

2009-05-11T04:50:00.000-07:00

Brace yourselves...

2009-05-10T15:02:00.000-07:00

We found out yesterday, late morning, that Emery is allergic to her amoxacillin. It started off looking like a sunburn and we had gone out to the park that day and I swear I protected her the whole time. So when we got home later that evening I was shocked that she was getting so red already. She looked more sunburned than anyone else and she was barely in the sun. Then the next day she started getting little red bumps, which I assumed was heat rash. Then Saturday morning it was all over her tummy and back and it was bigger and raised off her skin. I ended up taking her to the Pediatric ER and found out that she is allergic to anything with cillin in it and that it was never a sunburn. This is what she looks like today, it looks miserable, and it is. She keeps scratching her head on her car seat or bed. My poor baby. Even at the park, we were getting "looks" but no one would ask us what's going on. I am so glad we know this now and she is on Benadryl to fight the rash. Thank you God for giving me a mother's instinct.

This is how it started

This is how she looks today...

Mama, I can tickle myself

2009-05-08T10:29:00.000-07:00

Aww...Quiet

2009-05-07T11:16:00.000-07:00

Aww it's quiet...Grandpa Dan aka PA has taken the boys to the park and Miss Emery Rose is sleeping...Aww it's quiet...I have cleaned my living room and opened my blinds. Crack upon the window to hear chirping birds...Aww nature...SMACK...a bird just flew into our window.

Emery Crawls!!!

2009-05-06T21:49:00.000-07:00